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…and then promptly broke them. After committing them to public view in this blogpost.

But I’m honest enough to advertise my flaws, even after the fact. Here’s where I ‘fess up:

1. Yeah, I was distracted all day long. Note to self: do not pay attention to interruptive text messages. Especially when they contain misspellings, gah.
2. No yoga class. In my defense? I was needed to play Mom Taxi after orchestra jazz band rehearsal instead.
3. Score! Thanks to a very timely email from my buddies at Cork, I now have 3 boxes (boxes? Yes, boxes!) of wine on order – all without leaving my office. (If you were on their mailing list, you’d have gotten the heads-up as well. Get on that…) Sadly, it is NOT in my house. Yet. (More on this below…)
4. HAHAHAHAHA! Who seriously thought I’d do this? (And how long have you known me, anyway?)
5. Yes, I succumbed to Cyber Monday. But being able to get 50% off this killer NYT-endorsed box wine from Jenny & Francois was only offered until 6 pm last night. And after 20% of the stock was spoken for after the 1st hour (this per my wine buddy, Darryl) – well, I needed to jump on it – right?

It goes without saying that after a track record of complete failure on the inaugural effort, well – I’m not making any public commitments for today’s activities.

What would you suggest, though?

…after a long holiday weekend/way too much time not blogging here.

But I made up for lost time this weekend over on my personal blog – that’s for sure!

• A very mushy post about what I’m thankful for on this day – along with a recap of my Very Paleo Thanksgiving.
• My new career – as stage mother? Possibly…
• My latest dating horror story (and the resulting kick-ass recipe for chili that was the aftermath)

Now, the plan for today? Five things…

1. To deal with the plethora of work-related tasks, interspersed with all of the distractions I keep getting drawn to. So it’s Twitter for five minutes… work task for 30… a quick blog post… staff meeting.
2. Yoga class tonight. Blew it off twice this weekend, need to get back on the horse.
3. No wine in the house at ALL? Really? This must be remedied – because what’s in stock at 7-11 just will not do.
4. Deep breaths. Plenty of them. To prevent (or at least slow down) the things I should probably not say out loud.
5. Avoiding Cyber Monday (or as a friend just referred to it, ‘Sideburn Monday’). Since I don’t buy anything for anyone else ever (I’m a Xmas curmudgeon) – well, this is an easy resolution to keep!

What’s on your list today….?

Update: Had the wrong link below – and it’s a doozy besides: My dating story from hell

This goes out to my Twitter followers – those people who have some understanding of what I’m like. And it’s a follow-up to this post, where I lament Saturday evening’s outcome.

Soooo…what kind of man do you see me with? And where on earth would you suggest I find him?

About me, in 140c: Mercurial, irreverent, whimsical, transitory, stubborn, whipsmart, occasionally obnoxious. Grammar snob. Spelling nazi.

(Need some background reading first? Try these two sides of the same coin: Worst date story ever, followed by The dating dilemna from the long-ago archive…)

Ready: GO!

What does it matter, you wonder?

See, these are the people I tend to mute on Twitter.

Sure, unfollowing someone on Twitter is far more authentic.
Way less passive-aggressive. It’s a statement of intent – or non-intent, mostly. Where I once was interested in you, or what you had to say – I find that I’m not interested any more in giving you any more of my attention. On the surface, it’s as simple as that.

As a general rule, I have no issues unfollowing people – and I take no issue whatsoever when people choose to unfollow me.

(Nope, I think any notion of reciprocity – the whole ‘I’m following *you*, so you have to follow *ME* crap – is complete bullshit. Sink or swim on your own merits, says me.)

But I’m also not a complete stone-cold bitch, I can recognize when someone’s going through a rough time, and I have occasionally moved into, ahem, inappropriate tweeting patterns myself from time to time (live-tweeting at a conference… an evening outing… while enjoying more than one glass of bourbon… etc. etc. etc.)

And yes, there are others where it’d just be Really Awkward if I stopped following them any time soon (think co-workers, people in your larger social circle, etc.)

That’s when I can employ the completely passive-aggressive tack (thanks to the Twitter clients to allow same) of muting: I look like I’m still following you – but I don’t have to see what it is that you’re actually SAYING. (My profuse thanks to the Twitter clients who allow same. They’re the ones I’ll pay for, actually.)

I also refer to it as ‘adult time out’ or ‘Twitter purgatory’, which can sometimes preface complete unfollowing if the, uh, overcommunication turns into a habitual thing.

I probably have at least 20 people on mute right now, for one (or more) of the following reasons:

1. The signal to noise ratio way out of line. Whether you’re playing a #hashtag ‘add one more word to a movie title’ game, aggressively live-tweeting a conference you’re attending in stenographer mode, or having a long, involved chat with your BFF – doesn’t matter. You’re operating on hyperactive Tigger energy, and I don’t have the time for that most days.
2. You’re in permanent Eeyore mode, with no positive Tigger-moderating balance. My own life can be challenging enough – and I need to hear about YOUR problems as well 24/7? No, thanks.
3. You often act like you’re clueless – or you think that it’s everyone else’s job to educate you, using very small, simple words. Or you’d rather WE do all the work for you. If you frequently fall back on updates that start off ‘lazy twitter request’, I’m probably talking about YOU, Pooh. Wise up, already.
4. You’re bossy. “Go DO this!” “READ MY POST!” “Retweet this!” “Like what *I* like!” (You can often track the number of exclamation points used per capita to pick up on the overly-Rabbit-esque nature of their updates over time.)
5. You’re in lecture mode – using the less-endearing qualities of wise old Owl. Conversation? Reciprocity? Ability to absorb knowledge that doesn’t come from one’s self? Inconceivable!

See yourself up there? Perhaps that’s why we’ve not chatted on Twitter recently. Even though I’m ‘following you.’

Works for me!

You? Maybe not so much…

…or maybe you’ve muted me as well!

I’m in a very cranky mood today. And sure, I can release it on Twitter in disjointed staccato-like updates. But I just remembered that I have a blog that’s perfect for the longer-form rants – THIS ONE!

(For those who believe I have no such thing as ‘inner snark’ – bite me, already. You’ve only seen the surface…)

Without further ado:

• Why does the contractor who’s been sporadically working on this house for 6 months (as early as 8 am on a Saturday, as late as 9:30 pm on a Monday night) instinctively know the one day I’ve called in sick? Cue the banging, scraping, ladder-wrangling and VERY LOUD TALK RADIO right outside my window here. Really? Really. (I’m a tenant, so apparently don’t warrant things like advance notification or contractor courtesy – despite numerous requests for same.) So much for my expected peace and quiet… Yep, I know what the solution is here. And yes, it’s already begun.
• So. Very. Tired. of the ‘if you’re not with us, you’re against us’ attitude. Latest example? The Occupy PDX, uh, occupiers/supporters. Yes, I may be part of the 99%. But I don’t at all agree with the way you’re choosing to display your outrage, and I don’t want to be part of your movement to make my voice heard as well. My solution? Opt out and/or engage my Wonder Twin ‘apathy’ powers. Which is completely and entirely MY CHOICE. Go off and march to your heart’s content – if it works? Great. If it doesn’t (and I’m betting it won’t)? I’ll live. So will you. Really.
• Yes, I love you very much. No, your emergencies are not my emergencies, and do not warrant emergency ‘OMG this has to HAPPEN NOW!’ energy. Especially when you care not one iota for dealing with the things I think are far more urgent/long-term life-altering. Like that F you’re currently getting in Science, for example. Got it? Good.
• Was I talking to you? No? So why am I expected to talk to you after you rudely butted your way into the conversation (and I have no clue who the hell you are and/or why I should care)? That’s right – I’M NOT. At least my my own rules of common courtesy, that is. BUH-BYE!
• (I had this in mind for one particular situation – but if it fits – and I’m betting it will – borrow it/own it!) Why don’t you pull your head out of your goddamned ass and think about at least one other person than your own sorry, pathetic self? NO, the world will not revolve around your existential crisis, so go put on your Big Boy Pants already and start pulling your weight. (And yes, I’ve already said it to the individual in question, so don’t be accusing me of doing that Portland passive-aggressive thing, hear?)

Note to self: maybe that’s what this blog is supposed to be about after all. Snark in more than 140-character doses!

Okay. That felt: good. But I’m betting there’s more to come…what do you think? Keep it in – or let it out?

…because I feel as if I should be blogging, or something.

We’re having a really interesting conversation at Aaron Hockley’s session about how to move your personal blog into 2011 (and away from cat photos, for example).

Do you read personal blogs in 2011? If so, what’s the appeal? What are you looking for? And what have you found?

What baby, you wonder? My weekly podcast, Redoing Media – that’s what.

Didn’t I love doing it? Weren’t people listening? Isn’t my co-host a good friend of mine? Wasn’t my office eminently flexible about allowing me time away from work to indulge my side project?

Respectively, yes, yes yes and yes.

So why kill it?

Um…because it was Time? Yeah, that’s about the best answer I can give right now.

And sometimes, that’s just about the most perfect answer of all – isn’t it?